Well, in case you were wondering.... from the last post.... it never happened.

It's only a matter of time. -- as the the song sings right now.

I'm turning another year in a few days, another day, but my day. even if it's shitty or not. It's a day... another day. Not nothing.

I've been closing myself off and I'm not sure really why... sometimes it just makes things easier. but it actually makes it harder when people ask me how i am... because I have no idea how I am. I don't even think about myself most days... I just wake up and get ready for work and think about all the stuff I have to prepare myself for the day of work. Who I have to be there. I have so much pride in my work when I work... and I wonder, should I? I mean,... if I don't, then I wouldn't care, and I'd do a half ass job. I want to make people happy, see all their smiles, hear their stories that I could go for the rest of my life without knowing but I will forever remember that stupid, useless fact... and next time I see their face, I ask them how that went, and they are always at shock that I remembered... even if it was something so small. I think I care too much sometimes. It's not always bad...

I really hope I can get a car soon. And I hope that things go well. I hope that my soul mate won't be too far from me. I am thinking of checking out a choir tomorrow. I want to sing again. I just hop it's the same day every week, so I can let chip know. I think that will help me.